No matter what happens to me in this life, no matter what I see, or hear about, God is still good, he is still on the throne, this life is not about me, it is not about me, it is not about me! This selfish pain inside of me, this all consuming monster screaming that it needs to be fed, fed with pity because it needs to be kept the victim, it needs to keep believing that it is all about me, Lord help me starve it to death! Fear, I HATE you, you are a liar, you are a thief! you have stolen far too many years of my life, you have held me captive too long, doubt, I LOATHE you, you ruin my life, you take a beautiful moment and turn it into something sour something that repulses me. God help me love you more, show me what dieing to self really looks like, what it really means, show me how to live for you, to love you with my every breath to be held captive by your love, to be consumed with your freedom. Dear Lord , fill me with your love that I may love others with it and have compassion the way you do, the closer I get to you, the more my wretchedness is unveiled, help me live in the simply beauty that is you, it is your truth that I rely on, you are all I have, you are all I ever really had, I was deceived to think otherwise and deceived to believe that I needed more than you. You my Lord are beauty, you are love, you are hope, you are joy, you are all that is good in its entirety, you are completeness, in you is fulfillment, in you is satisfaction...
Isaiah 55:2
Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare
Amen, Sister!!!! :)
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