True Confidence

I had another light bulb moment yesterday. Turns out true confidence does not come from within, it has noting to do with my dress size, my hair or my clothes. It has everything to do with who God is and who HE says I am. I have been on this journey for some time now, peaks and valley's, clarity and confusion, hope and defeat, all part of the package. This journey is to wholeness, to freedom, to peace. God wispered something in my mind yesterday, I was sitting in the sauna reading the Purpose Driven Life, and I felt God saying to me," you are trying to be someone your not" And it was suddenly as if a huge mystery had been uncovered. May sound silly or even common sensical, but how often do we try to be someone we are not? someone we were not designed to be, someone that looks like someone else we know or even someone we admire. Im not saying it's bad to aspire to be greater than we currently are, But what I am saying is that God designed us to us, he designed me to be me and you to be you, there will NEVER be another me, There will NEVER be another you! he made us, he made me to be the TRUE me. And as I sat there, I realized that the true me is only found in who he says I am. When it comes to all the inadequacies I see when I look in the mirror, when I lose my patients with my children, when I think im better than another person, and I beat myself up for not meeting up to the worlds standards and high standards that I place on myself, I suddenly realized, God say's this is NOT me, there is NO confidence in who I say I am. Confidence comes from resting and trusting in who God is, his nature, his character, his act of Love in the person of Jesus Christ. This is Confidence. This is hope. This is how to Live. This is the TRUE me. So I move forward in an attempt to let my grip loosen, believe God when he say's I can trust him, rejoice in the the fact that God is complete without any help from me. and See myself as the confident person that God intended me to be, When I set out to lose over 100 lb's I first started by seeing myself as I wanted to be, and I believed that I would get there, no longer did I see myself as a hopeless fat girl wanting to start another diet, I made up my mind that I was already successful, I stepped out in faith and started to live successfully. I imagine this journey is much the same, and it is very much intertwined in learning who I am. But no longer should I sit and hope and wish that I can trust God and live a life a freedom, I take a step of faith and start to live in that success, I see myself as I want to be, more importantly as God wants me to be, the me that lives in freedom, the True me.