Such a Time as This

From the depths of our souls we cry out, naked and vulnerable, there is nothing left to do but surrender, nothing left to hold onto to but you, our hopes and dreams, desires and longings, people and places even life itself, all is fleeting all is but a vapor. My brother Jeff is gone from this earth, there was an urgency in the way that you took him home and this still baffles my mind, but you know best, and who can really know the mind of God. If there is any comfort to be had and any sense of which to make of this, of why you would chose to take a father from his two young sons and a husband from his loving bride, let it be, that you must know a lot more than we. You must know a whole lot more about the plans for your creation, the plans for your children and you must know a whole lot more about death and what it truly brings. Lord, it is such a time as this, that we stand in shock, disbelief and the utter realization that any control we think we have is nothing more than an illusion, yes we have choices to make, and yes we have free will, but control? that belongs to you. At such a time as this may we stand in awe and wonder at the marvelous works that still are being done, even in our midst, Lord give us eyes to see it, hope to endure it, love to celebrate it and trust to embrace it, to embrace you. Thank you that there is nothing that can separate us from your love, not even death. Thank you that your plans are still good.


Psalm 139:16
Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.      

Dad, Jeff, me and Mike 1984

A memorial fund website is in the works for any one wanting to donate to Jeff's wife Lana and their two sons Joshua and Ethan, I will provide the link soon, Thanks!

Ok the site is up and running... here is the link jeffbehrensfamily.com thank you for considering a donation! 


Jeffrey Alan Behrens June 2 1975 ~ October 19 2011

God is chasing us....

In the pain, God is chasing you, in the beauty, he is chasing you, in the joy, in the chaos, in the confusion and in the hope... He still... is after you, chasing the beauty that is within you, to be loved, to be wanted, to have purpose, the longing within, it is for him, it is from him, he placed it there to draw us back, the empty to be filled, the lost to be found the chaos to be ordered, this mystery, this love, it overwhelms, it is him, this is him, he is this love, he is fullness, his peace is beauty, he chases us for this very purpose. To be whole, to bend the knee, to face seeming defeat and realize that in him is no such thing, unless it be to defeat our foes, in him we have this all elusive life, life abundant, life to the full, life overflowing, beautiful life, light in the midst of darkness, emerging from the shadows.... glorious and brilliant God given life. To behold his beauty is to breath deep, to embrace his love is to be changed. He is chasing you, with these gifts to bestow, he is chasing you, to romance your soul, oh that I might be the beauty in this story of his love, that I might be worthy, that I might be enough.... He whispers... you are, because I made you to be this, you are enough, and what is too much, I will strip away, that what is real may be revealed, and that you would see me with eyes unclouded, as I long to be seen, the lover of your soul that is after your heart. God is chasing us, to have us turn toward him, to accept his embrace, to delight in his presence, to breath deep in his love, to surrender to his beauty... God thank you for this chase.             

I want to write

But I don't know what to write about? should I write about the way that God has been romancing my heart? The way that he has turned my heart back toward his day after day? Should I write about how my brother has cancer and we just found out last week and today he is in ICU? Should I write about how God continues to stretch my faith and trust, calling me deeper and deeper? Maybe I should write about the gift of laughter that I asked God to give me and how he answered  that request in a most peculiar way? Sometimes life tumbles forward and it collects more and more life like a snowball rolling down a hill faster and faster hitting whatever may lie in its path, this my friends is how life seems some times doesn't it? Since this is the case, we might as well enjoy the tumble......