A Dozen White Roses minus 2

Last night after Ryan got home and we put the kids down, we took a little drive (my mom is visiting and she was here with our kids.... I feel like such a mom for disclosing this!) we drove down the street to the empty parking lot where it all was revealed last year. It was a somber time, a time of sadness yes, but I think it was more hopeful than sad, there were certain times that I replayed the events of that first night in my head and I could feel it all over again, it's weird how they body remembers how things felt, but it does. We sat in the car and we talked, and Ryan presented me with a dozen white roses, he told me that he had hoped to leave them or maybe just one there in the parking lot, up against the wall of the abandoned super market where we stood that first night, he said he picked the white ones because red meant love and white seemed more appropriate for a funeral. And this is truly what it felt like, a burial of the old. We decided that we would take two of the roses and leave them as a grave marker for the old life, the old marriage and the old Ryan and the old Michelle that died there that night. As we walked over to the place where we would leave them, I could not help but think how different this night, one year later was, that first night, I walked away, alone and wanted to escape, this night we walked hand in hand, each holding a single white rose, that first night we stood there, me confused and angry, Ryan looking at me not really knowing what to say, this night we lay our roses down and face each other, we are quiet, we embrace and hold each other, soft tears flow down my cheeks and I can see the emotion in his eyes, last year we walked away separate, divided, walking into a completely unknown future, this year we walked back together, united, hand in hand and we sat there in our car and prayed and gave thanks to God for his faithfulness and provision. We asked for closure on the most painful year we had yet to experience, and we asked for God's continued healing as we embark on a brand new year, our marriage is new, Christ makes all things new. We talked about how the rest of the roses would serve as a symbol of all the new blooms in in our life, and there are so many. We got home late, after midnight and I had this striking revelation that we had made it, the whole year had passed and God was faithful to do just what he said he would do that very first night, he was going to make something really good come from this, and he has. Don't get me wrong, I am not so arrogant to assume we have "arrived" we still mess up and we still need to surrender many things daily, but God has begun a good work and I know he is faithful to complete it. Here is to a new day, a new month, a new year...

Philippians 1:6
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.