Last night my husband I were talking, the end of next month will be a year, A whole year since we embarked on this journey of healing, which is a diplomatic way of saying my husband got caught and we were thrust into dealing with all the problems in our marriage. We decided that we need to be very intentional about facing this upcoming "anniversary" and not just try to ignore the unpleasant reminder of a day that has brought more pain than any other to our marriage. My husband then said something which I think is genius, he said "what if we.....and I want you to hear me out....celebrate it?" He told me to let the idea sink in and grow on me. His reasoning is that although that day last summer brought with it such pain, it, in all glory to God was the catalyst that brought us from darkness to light, it was the beginning of the end of our old marriage and everything we thought we had or were trying to attain or achieve without being totally and completely vulnerable and real, stripped bare and in need of forgiveness and grace from God and one another. That day brought with it the beginning of a journey, a journey neither of us would have wanted to go on, or felt prepared for, like being abruptly woken up in the middle of the night and told you had to leave your home, grab only what you need and get out, you are not coming back. This journey has been a mixed bag, it started with total confusion and numbness and loss then came the pain, the hope, the fear, mixed with faith, more pain, defeat mixed with triumph, despair at times but always God's voice leading us through the fire. Would I have asked God to give me this experience? No..... not ever. But what I did ask God for was freedom, freedom from all the things that kept me tied down and in fear for so long, I asked him for a marriage that was healthy and whole, loving and fulfilling, I asked God to always be with me and never leave me, I asked God to use my life for his glory, I asked God to show himself to me in a way that was real, a way that would increase my faith, so this is the vehicle that God chose to use to bring the above things to fruition. God has brought about change in both my husband and I that leaves us almost unrecognizable from our former selves, no we don't look too much different in the mirror, we may not look that different from people who didn't really know us very well to begin with, but we are different, and the good news is, we are still changing, we are still slaying this dragon set before us. I get excited when I think of all the great things that God is bringing us to, what the evil one wanted to use to destroy us, God wanted to use for our good. I had this idea that maybe we should go back to that empty parking lot on the 1 year anniversary and stand where we stood that night, only this time, stand together, praying and thanking God for being with us, for walking us through the first full year of our transformation and entrusting the next year to him to continue his good work in us. Will this be celebrating? it may not be champagne and roses kind of a celebration, it will be a bit more somber than that, but we will stand on the carcass of this dead dragon victoriously and proclaim God's faithfulness to us, and his good plans and promises for our future. I think we can celebrate that.
Genesis 50:20
20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
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