Designer Me

Still working on becoming who I am, that is who I was intended to be. My creator had a very specific and intentional design when he fashioned me together in my mothers womb. Today I am hopeful, Yesterday I had a migraine and I soo hate having those, for anyone who has never experienced a true migraine, they are more than just a bad headache, I will spare the details of how bad they can be, but suffice is to say, get ready to cancel all the plans you had for the day if you get a migraine. So down for the count yesterday, and today seems like a better day, no signs or symptoms pointing to another one striking, at least not yet! But in faith I will not get anxious or worried that another is lurking around the next corner or under the next rock. So I am working on and working out a lot of crap these days, God is leading me on a path of healing, and at times things are stunningly clear, as though I can almost hear his voice saying to me, See? this is why you are going through this, this is who you really are, this is who you are going to become. I see a me that is whole, that does not live in fear and past regrets, or mull over past pain, or imagine a terrible and frightful future. I see a me that lives in the moment. Trusting God and letting go of, well, me! of who I thought I was or who I think I "should" be. My husband and I are on this journey together, although I know God is teaching him different things, we both are experiencing God in a new way, a different way, and it's good. We sit out on the back patio swing most nights and talk, sometimes we uncover great things together, sometimes it's me talking and crying and him listening and other times we are talking about how we are going to pay the bills and feed the kids, and oh did you feed the dogs and take the trash out yet? Life really is an amazing journey, things change and that is a good thing. We got a new kitty this week, her name is Callie she is very cute and playful and the kids are in love with her. She has a very good disposition and that is a good thing when 3 kids are your owners! I'm glad to see them, happy and playful and just being kid's! the way it should be, it seems like we fumble through this life and then one day realize that God is calling us back to simplicity, to being in him, to becoming the design he created and intended from the beginning. I am looking forward to this designer me, because I know that he will design me better than I could ever design myself to be.