Do you Have a Plan?

As my husband and I continue to walk along in this journey we have uncovered some great tools to help us build a better future for our marriage and family, one of the tools we discovered was an e-book called "Life Plan" a step by step guide to designing the life you've always wanted. The Author of this e-book Michael Hyatt is the chairmen of the worlds largest Christian publishing company Thomas Nelson Books. My husband and I are currently going through this FREE e-book together and designing our life plan. In this book, Michael has you literally envision your own funeral, the reason for this is because he wants you to start at the end and go backwards to where you are now. How do you want to be remembered? who is important in your life? what kind of person to do want to be? he has you answer all of these questions and create different accounts for each important relationship in your life and each important responsibility that you hold, and then he breaks down how to live these out with intention and a plan. We had the privilege of hearing him speak at the Storyline conference we attended in early June, I highly recommend downloading a copy of this free book, it is available on his website, just click the link with his name on it above. One of the things that I highly admire about this man is his relationship with his wife, she is his best friend and it is very apparent when he speaks and writes, he protects her, he values her, and he is dedicated to being a faithful husband to her, this did not happen on accident or by the luck of the draw, it happened intentionally and with a plan. Take advantage of this great resource and free tool! We are really enjoying going through it, and creating a better plan for our lives!

Tell Me A Story

My daughter's often ask for this each night at bedtime, my 4 year old is fine with me reading her a couple of children's books, but my 9 year old, wants a made up story, off the cuff and on the spot! I am NOT good at this! my husband is VERY good at this this, I on the other hand usually spout out some ramblings about a mermaid finding forks and other human treasures and using them for things like hair brushes, which sounds a little to much like a certain Disney film we all know about and no doubt if you have kids have seen hundreds of times. I usually say something like, I'm tired or I'm not good at make believe stories, I'm good at real stories, so my daughter then say's "well, tell me a real story". Tell me a real story. This is exactly what we do each and every day, we tell a real story with the lives we are living. My husband and I were not telling a very good story with the lives we were living, and what's worse was our story was heading toward tragedy, through poor choices that were made. Ten months ago I got a huge wake up call, My story, Our Story needed to change. We didn't even realize that the story we were living had characters in it that were living selfish lives, consumed with the idea's of how our own needs should be met and no (or not much) regard on living to meet the needs of others. Living that kind of story leads to a very unfulfilling and unsatisfying, empty and even self destructive end. Through the pain and tears of this last ten months, the things that have been stripped away are making way for a clearer picture of a more beautiful story. And I am grateful for that. No I am not grateful for the actions and things that took place, but I am grateful that those things, those poor choices, led us into a fire where all the worthless things in our lives have been and are being burned away. We are still a work in progress of course and will not ever arrive at perfection, but we press on. So we began asking the question, "How do we tell a better story with our lives?" At the beginning of June we attended a conference in Portland OR, called StoryLine and it was put on by the Author Donald Miller at this conference Don shared his vision that he is passionate about, and that is that we are telling a story with our lives and we have the ability to edit our lives, just as you would if you were writing a screenplay for a movie. Would you want to watch a movie that was based on the story you are living? are you the character you want to be in the story you are living? Is your story going where you want it to go? if not..... the good news is that we don't have to just sit around in the audience of this story and wish we could get our money back at the end. We can live a better story. One that overcomes conflict, one that changes people's lives, one that other people are inspired by, one that is lived with intention. What I have realized through this experience is that my story has been me focused for far too long! what a boring story! no wonder I am often left longing for more. So I began to think, what kind of stories inspires me? who do I admire? what do I wish I could change about my life and the story I am currently telling? What need do others have that God could use me, use us, to help meet? and the idea's are endless! because the needs are endless, there are hurting people all over this world, people in other countries need clean water, shoes and food, people in this country need clothing and shelter, people everywhere need love, married couples need hope, children need families, mentors and friends. People NEED people, relationship, God's Love. What would happen if God's children stopped just going to church on Sunday and then going out to lunch afterward, then went home and back to our busy lives? I began to think.... there has to be a better way to learn God's word, to learn the gospel. A way that is better than just reading it and wondering what I can get out of it for me, and I think the better way is in living it. Are you telling the story you want to tell with your life? whether you realize it or not, you are telling a story everyday, are you the character you want to be? would you root for you if you were watching you on the big screen? I want to live a better story, how about you?

On the Top of a Mountain

At the beginning of June my husband and I took a road trip to Portland Or, we had planned this over 1,000 mile driving excursion for months, we worked diligently and made extra money to be able to afford it, we arranged for child care with my mom for the 6 days we would be gone, we created itinerary of what we wanted to see and where we wanted to go, we did our research mapped and planned this trip and made sure to go with the intention of building new memories, fond memories, enjoying each others company and doing new things together. One of those memories we created while there, was our experience with Multnomah Falls. Multnomah Falls are the fifth largest in the United States, the Falls cascade more than 600 feet into the Columbia River Gorge below. There is a paved hiking trail that you can take that leads you to the bridge that is about 1/3 of the way up, a truly beautiful sight, the bridge is old, built in 1914. Literally hundreds of people trust the integrity of this bridge daily as they make the trek up to get a better view of the falls. Standing on the bridge you can see clearly the pool the falls gather in before they make their second descent to the pool below, looking up is the top of the falls cascading forcefully as they make there way down to this pool and looking down you see the many faces of on lookers posing for photo's, standing and staring upward, mesmerized by the beauty of God's handy work. But the bridge is not the highest you can go. There is a trail called "Larch Mountain Trail" it is a paved mountain trail that is 1 and 1/4 mi. climb to the top of the falls, at the base of the trail is a sign of dedication from Oct of 1915 when the trail was opened, it amazes me to think of the number of people who have hiked this trail over the years, how many made it all the way up? how many gave up half way and turned around? in reality it is not too bad of a hike, for the avid hiker I'm sure it is a piece of cake, or perhaps a piece of granola since we are talking about hikers, but for the average Joe this requires some effort. And effort is what we put into getting to the top of the mountain that day in early June. Climbing a literal mountain is not too much different than the figurative mountains we face and climb in our life times, I love that about God, how he speaks so freely to us in the parables of life's experiences. I wonder how many of us really listen? I wonder how many times I've missed it? How many times God has gently said "life is like this Michelle" as he gave me some experience with gardening or time with my children, or some other seemingly mundane experience, but I missed it because I was too busy trying to figure it out on my own. This day was not one of those days, this day God spoke to my heart while I was climbing this mountain with my husband and I was grateful for it. Not unlike climbing the mountains we face in our lives, we started off with gusto, excited to see what the top of this beautiful waterfall was like. On the way up I made several observations, I noticed that several other hikers started at or around the same time we did, some a little ahead, some a little behind, and on the way up, people stopped to rest at different points, some stopped to snap pictures or just to admire the view, some got to a certain point and just gave up, turned around and headed back for the bottom. There where points of this trail that came with ease, and some that were rocky and steeper than others. At times my husband was in the lead and I fell behind, and at others I was the one with a sudden burst of energy. We talked to each other on the way up but this was no idle chit chat, this was focused determination to get to the top of this mountain, the things we said were "watch your step here" or " be careful around these loose rocks" we worked as a team, side by side, we climbed, our breathing was heavy and our cheeks red, we were going in the same direction and we were doing it together. I took note of a few other things, when the mountain got steeper we took larger strides using the muscle in our legs to help us pass parts of the tiresome climb more quickly, the higher up we got the more clearly we could see, the view became more open, and suddenly we were looking out over the tops of tall and majestic trees, seeing for what seemed like miles in the distance. As we got closer to the top we realized that all our hard work was going to pay off, yet we really didn't know exactly what to expect. When we got to the top to our surprise the last switchback of the trail went down and not up, sudden relief that was quite welcomed. The trail let off into a beautiful creek, we hiked back and took in all the beauty, huge rocks and boulders lay while water playfully danced around and over them as if being ushered to take its rightful place as part of the cascading falls just up ahead. We explored the fallen tree trunks and the greenery around, Oregon is green in every sense of the term, even tree trunks are covered in green moss. we took pictures, we kissed, we smiled at each other, we enjoyed every minute of it. Then we followed the water down to find the top of the water fall, when we got closer a paved trail was presented before us and now stairs going down to a round wooden deck with a rail around it a little taller than waist high, when we got there, there was only a couple of people standing there, taking photo's and video. It was breathtaking, I'm not sure what was better, the view and the excitement of the water falling right before us or the sense of accomplishment that we did this and we did this together, see this was a new experience for us, we had never done anything like this before, it literally brought tears to my eyes to stand there and realize the symbolism in climbing that mountain together, it took us about an hours time to climb it, and as I stood there I thought about the people we saw turn back, how they don't know what they missed out on, and what if we had turned back? what if we had given up? and how at this moment I wasn't too sure that I was talking about the falls any more. This was one of those moments in life when you come out of it changed, for a brief moment we stood there and we knew we had accomplished something, we had built a great memory, we had had an adventure and we did it together. Life isn't all mountain top experiences, we wish it was, but I'm convinced that if all of life was lived on top of the mountain then we would become calloused to the beauty and our wandering hearts would begin to complain and seek for something more, so back down the mountain we must go, for now. The great thing about the mountain top is that you remember what is like to see clearly, to see the whole picture, and these are tools we take with us back down and when we get back to that level ground where the day to day life is lived out, it is just a little bit higher then it was before, the valleys are a little bit easier to avoid and we allow the moments on that mountain top to spur us onto and into greater works. I'm grateful for this experience and also for the experience of climbing to the top of Multnomah falls.

At the bottom of the falls looking up



Ryan and I on the bridge, the falls behind us


At the foot of the trail


A view looking outward from mid hike


At the turn of one of the switchbacks of the trail


The creek at the top of Larch Mountain


More of the creek


Love this Shot of Ryan,
puts into perspective how much larger than life these trees really are


A shot of the falls cascading over the top


Ryan and I at the top, red cheeked and accomplished

A love Letter to a Porn Star

My friend Ashley Weis has a blog called More Than Desire that is dedicated to bringing hope to women who have been damaged by the betrayal of their spouse's addiction to pornography and other sexual sins. Recently Ashley has started a new web site that is not quite off the ground yet called "Love Letters to Porn Stars" she has asked women, who's marriages have been damaged by the devastating effects of pornography to contribute personal letters to the site, her desire is to love the women trapped in the porn industry with the love of Christ, to be different, to be the hands and feet of Jesus and love one another, even our "enemies". Below is the letter I submitted for her to use on the site. Her vision is to get enough money raised that she would be able to make care packages with the many wives letters hand written out that she can send and hand deliver at places like porn conventions.

Dear Beautiful,

Did you know that you are beautiful? And not just for what your body looks like either. You are beautiful because you were made by a loving God who is the very essence of beauty, and when He fashioned you, He made you in His image. When He created you, He smiled because He knew that what He created was good, He knew this world would want to use you, to defile you, to take your true beauty and make it ugly, to take your innocence and smash it, your heart and break it.

He still loves you, He still thinks you are beautiful, and His heart is now breaking because of the lies you have swallowed and the life you are not caught up in. When I thought about how I would be able to write this letter, a love letter to you, I thought why would I want to do that? How could I do that? After all my husband was unfaithful to me with you. He chose you over me for his pleasure many times, and I sat here naive, believing him when he told me that he only had eyes for me, after all, who are you to him? You did not give birth to his 3 children. You don’t know him or love him, you haven’t stuck by him through thick and thin.

I resented you, resented the fact that you put your body out there for good men, husbands and fathers to feast there weak eyes upon, when they struggle to stay pure for God and their families. I asked God, “How? How will I be able to love these women?” And then, I looked at my two beautiful daughters playing in the backyard, and it occurred to me, that is who you are. You are little girls that are beautiful, little girls that got so very lost along the way. God loves you so much He can’t stop thinking about you, you are His daughters, and it pains Him deeply that you have allowed yourself to be used to be the garbage of this world, thinking perhaps you would get that place of longing inside of you filled this way, and now that you haven’t, God is still there, still waiting for you to come to His open arms.

He will never love you with a love that is impure, He will never use you for evil, He will never turn you away, He will never be unfaithful to you, He loves you. Period. I forgive you. You are not who I thought you were. You are not who you think you are either. God bless you beautiful!

Love,

Michelle