Lots of Changes Around Here!

I have neglected this blog for a few months, my time and energy have been invested in a new and  refreshing cause.... I have enrolled in school (yay!) and have started to walk forward once again in my desire to become a certified Health Coach! It is very exciting, and a lil overwhelming too! If you happen to be reading this and are interested please check out my new blog called "gracious health" it really is about ALL things healthy, I am a total believer that God's intent was for us to be whole in all area's of life, and yes sometimes he uses hardships to help us get there! But my desire is to walk forward in this calling of total health and take as many people as I can with me, at least encourage them to come along for the ride! So here is my new blog.... Check it out when you get a chance!
  

Get Vision

When my husband was going through a class focusing on recovery from sexual sin, one of the lessons focused on Vision vs. Fantasy and it talked about how fantasy is a cheap counterfeit for true vision, and how as children of God he offers us the real deal, we do not need to settle for cheap counterfeits, and we must learn to guard our hearts from the allurement of fantasy, which is really just smoke and mirrors and that which does not truly satisfy. So what does it mean to have real vision? and how do we get it? Good question if you ask me, because if we don't have vision, then we are not living life to the full, we are in danger of just drifting along, letting life just happen to us, or worse yet, letting someone else dictate our lives. So... how do you and I get vision? How do we not get to the end and look back and ask, what was that all about and why did I waste my time? The first part of this answer is we draw near to the one that made us and made us for a purpose. We cannot possibly know what our life's vision is without knowing the one who made us with his purpose in mind, the beauty of this is that he want's us to draw near to him, and to know him intimately, he want's us to see our vision from his perfect perspective. He want's to set us free to live a life of true vision. My husband and I had a conversation last night about which Lord of The Rings movie is our favorite in the trilogy, we both agreed that number 3 is not our favorite, and I said that I really favored number 2 "The Two Towers" one of my all time favorite movie scenes is in this movie, it is the scene in which Gandalf comes to set Theoden King of Rohan free from the evil spell of Saruman, Theoden has been under the control of the evil spell and deceived by Sarumans wicked apprentice wormtongue for a long time, he is under heavy oppression/possession and highly deceived, he is but a shell of the man he was designed to be and he is completely unaware of his state, the heavy spell upon him has all but stolen the air in his lungs as he lives being used to bring evil plans to his kingdom, then in walks his savior to release him from the evil, at first Gandalf is laughed at by Saruman (here we see resistance) then when Gandalf remove's his gray cloak and reveals his true power, Saruman (inside of Theoden) suddenly realizes what he is up against and trys to fight, but he loses and Theoden is set free, immediately upon being set free Theoden begins to regain strength, his eyes are no longer cloudy, he begins to see clearly again for the first time in a long time, and he recognizes the offender Wormtongue as the deceiver he is and wants to eliminate him for good. Then what does he do? he gets his vision back. He begins to be King again and make just calls for his kingdom, he becomes a man of honor and integrity once again and he leads his people in a loyal battle to fight against the very evil that once deceived him. What a beautiful illustration, do you see how Jesus our savior comes to us to save us? he comes to give us our vision, to set us free, to be people of integrity and honor, not to cower and hide and live in a fake fleeting fantasy realm, but to live in power  and with vision and purpose, I love that! Jesus came to set us free, sometimes there are many times he must do this in the course of our lives, remember we do not wage war against flesh and blood, but Jesus is there always fighting on our behalf, always wanting to set us free, always wanting us to get vision, will you allow vision over fantasy in your life, will you allow God the chance to change you? your perceptions? give you your vision and be your true source of strength?

Gandalf aiding Theoden in his vision as king of Rohan

Ephesians 6:12

New International Version (NIV)

¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

How to Say "I Love You" to Your Spouse

With Valentines day just around the corner, and the abundance of ah hmm....nauseating commercials begging you to man up and buy your girl a diamond heart necklace (we no longer have TV but I remember those commercials and doubt they are any different these days) what is a man (or woman) to do come this day of love and romance? Here are a few tips on how to say I love You in a way that counts.

1. Be a person of character, honor each other above yourself, don't lie, don't cheat, don't steal, let your yes be yes and your no be no, love God with all your heart! This is a great way to say I love you.

2. Live passionately and with purpose, and encourage your spouse to do the same.You can make a difference is this world, you can bless others and be blessed by giving your self to others (especially your mate), you can't do that so well if you are living a hum drum could care less existence.

3. Think, think, think, about your spouse and ways to encourage, affirm, bless and help him or her be all they were designed to be, be each others allies and don't forget who the real enemy is, *hint...it's not your spouse!
 
4. Pray hard! Everyday for each other. Never stop doing this! Ever!
 
5. Learn what your role is, husbands and and wives each play a vital (and different) role in marriage. Be a student of what this looks like in your marriage and make sure that your role and living that out is your top priority, we can only be responsible for our own actions. I once read somewhere that if we both give %90 and only expect %10 in return we usually will end up about 50/50...


6. Confess your sins... to God and to each other, make sure you are allowing yourself to be vulnerable, yes... I know this is risky, you could get hurt right? but true deep and mature love is not possible without this important element!

7. Have fun, be friends, laugh, enjoy each others company, foster great moments, show grace toward each other and forgive, forgive, forgive!

Flowers, cards and gifts are of course a great way to show your spouse you love them on Valentines day (or any day for that matter), but they should only be an expression of a deeper and truer love that is nurtured day by day, fought for and prayed for. This is truly how you say "I Love You" to your spouse.

Happy Valentines day Ryan! I still cho cho choose you after all these years!     

To The One Who is Beauty

As I have continued to process through what true beauty is and what it means, I have discovered there is only one source in whom it flows from, here is another journal entry below of processing through these things:

"operation Beauty"

12/28/11

Totally relying on God and denying my own strength, completely trusting in him and his plans.

Beauty is trusting in God always,

When I am afraid... I run to him.

When I am lonely... I run to him.

When I am happy... I rejoice with him.

When I am sad... I entrust my heart to him.

When I am pleased... I thank him.

When I am disappointed... I thank him anyway.

When I am discouraged... I trust his plan.

When I am broken and hurting... I let him soothe me.

When I am wrong... I confess and turn.

I wait for him, listen to him, trust in him, rely on his faithfulness.

HE NEVER FAILS ME.

Beauty is believing this...

Colossians 1:16
For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.

 

Introduction to Operation Beauty

This is something that has been in the works for a little while now, a few months I suppose, but I felt God inspiring me to embark on a journey called "operation beauty" in all honesty I struggled with that name a little... really God? that sounds so cheesy, and every time I shared it with someone I would give the disclaimer, "I know this sounds cheesy.... but..." So here I am and I have come to love this journey and the name isn't so bad after all, here is what it is and here is what I believe God is teaching me.... Beauty, to learn beauty, to learn to behold beauty, to learn to emulate his beauty, true beauty, it is a treasure that is worth seeking, seeking until the heart is not satisfied unless it be graced with such. As a wife of a man that once viewed pornography and lusted in his heart after other women habitually, beauty, to be beautiful was like a thorn in my side, it hurt, the reality of what I thought was beautiful... hurt, and though it would be easy for me to blame this pain on my husband and his wrong actions, I have come to realize that we as a culture have so missed the mark on what true beauty is, and how to be beautiful. This is something that all of us have been mislead on and we all have bought in to the lie from one degree to another of what it means to be beautiful, God has brought much healing both to my husband on his journey to purity, and to me on my journey to wholeness, and he continues to bring light, truth, and beauty into this mixture of healing and redemption we walk on daily, because these are the overarching truths of what we keep our eyes fixed upon, even when days are hard, or pain remains, we know that in this process of being redeemed God is bringing forth something of true beauty... in the next few posts I would like to share a few things that I have discovered, places God has taken me and hope he has shared with me, most of them come straight out of my journal, but my hope is that God will draw us in to his beauty, his truth, and help us to embrace his hope.... Thanks for tagging along on this journey with me! the following is a very raw and real journal entry dated from the beginning of December, I see it now as  part of the process unfolding, the petals blooming open. 

"operation Beauty"   

12/8/2011

I did some Christmas shopping today, I went to JC Penneys in Redlands, I left there really struggling with the lies that were thrown at me, after all I was in Redlands, where people have money-

I felt so inadequate, I see all these slender attractive women spending and shopping, driving off in their fancy cars without a care of how much they just spent and where they will go for lunch that day, and the hardest part of it all is that I fear that these woman would have turned my husbands head in the past, unfortunately this is still a flaming arrow that the evil one shoots right at my heart. I prayed, I told God I felt so totally inadequate, like I have failed miserably at just being a woman, ugh! the tears are flowing now... I told God I wished I was beautiful, I confessed to him I had jealousy in my heart, I asked him to forgive me of being covetous... and now here I am. Wondering. Wondering how a mess like me can turn this ugliness into something beautiful and how I can get this from my Lord without having to run to my husband to make sure he is not still choosing these other women over me? even though he says it was never about this anyway, how do I do this Lord?

This sadness in me, this longing I have to know that I am beautiful, to know that I am captivating,

to know that I am worth it.... 

it has to come from you Lord, I have to know who I am to you and how you see me, and more, I need to be secure in this and then I can truly come into my beauty, Beauty is: graceful, faithful, forgiving, secure, confident, kind, others centered, God focused.

Beauty is living in freedom. 

Help me Jesus, change my heart, transform this daughter of yours.

She Has A Heart of Gold

My daughter Victoria, only 10 years old, she wants to love like Jesus does, she wants to honor God in her little life.... Sitting around the computer, we look, we discuss, we compare prices and gifts, what about the soccer balls she says? what are those for? I tell her those are for children to play, that even in countries where they struggle to have enough food and clean water, children still want to play. Suggestions keep coming in, I want to get them a chicken and a cow say's our 4 year old, our son says, yeah a cow sounds good, how about some rabbits? We look some more, we watch videos, we hear the tales from the families that have been helped, we hear them praising God. We decide to buy 12 baby chicks for a family, this is a start, this is where we can start. She asks if we can give them more? can we send them blankets? food? toys? She want's to do more, she want's to give more...We talk about how we don't need everything that we think we do, that their is a difference between need and want, she gets it, she say's "like I don't need a DS, but they need food". Yes her dad and I say, yes... we talk to them about the importance of giving more and getting less, that we have a wonderful opportunity to contribute to God's kingdom work, that the people we give these gifts to will know that a family in America wants them to know that Jesus loves them so much that HE is providing for their family, they smile, they receive these words, and we move forward, 12 baby chicks it is, at least to start.... we purchase them, everyone goes away to go about their business and she returns with a crumpled dollar bill and some change in her hand, $2.16 Dad... she say's "I want to give my money to help pay for the baby chicks" dad takes the money and smiles, we put this gift in her name, the family that receives these chicks will know that it is because of Victoria's love for Jesus and him loving them through her, they have received this gift. As we move forward into the Advent, anticipating the coming of our Messiah, what are we in need of? My guess is that like our children we must learn that their is a difference between what we need and what we want, Is there room in our hearts for him? The greatest gift, God became man and walked among us, to serve us, to love us, to fill us, to be one with us... do we fathom the greatness of this gift? Immanuel..... God with us! He entered in, in a lowly way, he entered into the mess of a depraved world, to save, to show us how, to redeem, to give and not to receive, to serve and not to be served. Is there room? are we eager to have him fill us, change us and to delight in our Immanuel? do we know that this is what we are in need of? do we know that this is what we really want?  

Acts 20:35
In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”

For Husbands Only (Christmas Cheat Sheet)

Husbands, now... it is your turn, in my previous post I talked to your wives and reminded them that wives have a very great opportunity to respect you and learn to build you up, now it is time for the men to get a little insight into the women they love. This Christmas... romance your wife. Don't worry... I will provide some idea's ;o) romance is something that every woman desires, from one degree to another it is there in her heart, God placed this desire within her, and yes God does a wonderful job of romancing a woman's heart, but... Husbands have been called, to provide, protect and honor their wives, and romancing them is one of the very important ways you can do this. When pornography and lust were exposed in my marriage, something deep inside of me was broken, I really thought I would never have any real romance in my marriage ever again, (I questioned that any previous romance was ever real also) even seeing wedding ring commercials made me sick to my stomach, I thought romance was all a lie, that I had been tricked into thinking I was special, when maybe I wasn't, this may sound very dramatic, but as many wives as I now know who have had this same devastation in their marriages, these feelings seem pretty normal and universal. Romance speaks something into the worth of a woman, it says to her, you are loved, I will honor you, I am so thankful to have you, if you feel this way about your wife, then romance her, you will not regret it! Just like I did for the wives I will provide a few suggestions below, but get creative, Christmas can be an extremely romantic (albeit stressful) season, all the pretty lights and candles and music and snow (ok, maybe not here is So. Cal) they all can help set the stage for romance, come on guy's it's in the air! don't you feel it? here are a few suggestions for you to romance your bride,

• Is your wife beautiful? tell her! and be specific, do you like her eyes? her hair? her lips? follow king Solomons example in song of Solomon and be generous with your words, make sure she knows that she holds the title of most beautiful to you and that no one can steal that from her! 
• Buy some mistletoe and hang it up in a place that only the two of you spend time, in your bedroom, your bathroom etc..
• Take her on a Christmas date, buy her hot cocoa, or coffee, take her to look at lights, walk in the chilly air and hold her hand (here's a tip, have a place planned to take her, that she has never seen, surprise her!)
• Write to her ( I love it when my husband writes to me!) tell her why you love her, tell her what fond memories you have of her, why you appreciate her, why she is special, how beautiful you think she is, just write it down, and leave it in a place she will find it.
• Arrange for childcare, a bottle of wine a blazing fire and some Christmas music.
• Celebrate the 12 days of Christmas, on the 12 days leading up to Christmas do something special each day, a gift, a card, flowers, breakfast in bed, get creative, have fun! 
• Send her Christmas flowers (don't forget the note!).
• Take her on a Christmas themed adventure. 
• Take her to hear some Christmas music being performed live. 
• Make her a gift with your hands, put time and effort into making something just for her, what are you good at? writing? painting? drawing? building? wrap it and put it under the tree! (so much more special than a store bought gift!) 
• Pray with her and for her everyday! 
• Here is the biggie, sprinkle some kind of romance into every day, does not have to be spectacular or expensive, but let her know she is appreciated as she bears the brunt of the holiday to do lists.... fight for her heart, protect her, come on men, she is worth it! Oh and the best tip... do it all with a genuine heart, truly desiring to honor the wife God has blessed you with!